Boxes and chains

How many times can I get so close to crying and only shed a tear here.
A drop there.
Never more than a few.
Broken and well loved music boxes seem to endlessly echo "Love me Tender" and "Greensleeves".
Their haunting chimes ripple through the dark of the house.
The silence is shattered for a split second then all is buried under a snow drift again.
And then another note, different from the last, slices into my ear drum and vibrates my sole only to fade away into the blackness.
I'm tied down.
My heart feels like a bug gasping for air but encased in cement.
It wheezes with every slow beat.
Will I be the chain breaker?
The one person in my entire linage to find a man who doesn't cheat, abuse, go insane, or leave me?
The one person who doesn't have children who die way before their time?
The sweet ring of the music boxes say so but their echoes remind me that their is no "Happily ever after" for me.
I don't want to but I must keep that one chain in order to keep me on earth.
To keep me from floating away.
Into death or into my own world.
Ironic.
To be the one female in my family to die as a child before their time, and to go insane.
Such chains seem so much feebler to me.
So much easier to break.
And shatter.
And embrace.
Maybe I will be,
The chain breaker...