Tuesday, December 14, 2010

They are called friends?

Hated? Maybe.
I can't tell without looking at them.
But somehow I can feel the vibrations in my bones.

Ignored?
To a point.
Sometimes a name slips out between lips.
Though thats usually it.

Favored?
No.
Far from it.
I'm often found alone.

Hardly accepted in one group.
barly hanging on in another.
disgusted by a third.
and abandoned by a fourth.

I can tell I am somewhat of a pest.
A rock in a shoe.
A tick on a hide.
And a buzzard on a body.

So only when I'm quiet or sharing something am I seen in the first.
They are always interested in eachother rather than me.
I am not reconized as being there completely.
Do they know my brain isn't too?

The second ignores me completely.
Well, the ones who are still there that is.
I sit in silence and stare into the mist of my mind.
And when the bell rings I travle alone to my next destination.

The third group annoys me.
So loud, innocent, hyper..
...happy...
Why must the ones who have what I want be the only ones to accept me?!

The fourth group is the worst though.
I say all is forgiven but I never get a responce.
I'm always caught off guard even though I can smell them a mile away.
And that hurts almost as much as being abandoned by them...
him

I just want to be able to smile.
Not a fake one on a mask.
But a real one.
I just want to feel it.

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